Part 2

It might mean something, but it should not mean anything at all. After all, as it was being said, "It's not meant to be depressing at all..." Somehow yet i feel...an undescrible feeling. Sweet yet distant.

Saturday was unexpected. I couldn't and i don't know how to reply. In the end i was not suppose to reply after all. Strangely, my mind was in a state of calm, not knowing what to expect. Sleep seems the best option, and i did..

What followed on Sunday morning and afternoon was a bit strange for me. Did I misunderstood the intentions or the meaning behind the messages? I didn't knew what was going on seriously. However, following an outburst, I thought i knew what had happen exactly. Did I? At least i thought i did. I tried to sound out the real purpose of the messages. Further messages probably confirmed what i was thinking, or so i thought...

That Sunday night was probably as much as was the longest time that we spoke to each other. It was confusing for me. I tried to speak up. Yah...In the end, i was a bit choked, and yet i blurted it all out. As expected, silence prevailed on the other end. And the message was clear enough...
"一切顺其自然"
Until then, pacing up and down around the void decks and the car parks couldn't be more fun. I stand a chance...Or so i thought...Once again, sleep seems to be a very suitable option, considering the turn of events. I couldn't...unfortunately...

Monday at work was disastrous... Smiling to myself...Frowning at myself....Thoughts running wild and distracted...Not exactly a brilliant start to the week...
"Don't think or imagine too much..."
How could i not? I was confused... messages was sent, and yet this time round, they were not as forthcoming, as i thought.
Confused...was the word of the day...

Finally, Tuesday arrived... I went out to meet her to walk her home... Frankly, i was happy and contented that i was given this chance...Did i appear to be over enthusiastic, or am i still keeping my cool. I really don't know...Waited and waited before i asked her about Sunday's episode. After another round of conversation below her place and in a position i will never forget...
"一切顺其自然" was again the message...

Maybe i am the one who is pushing too hard. But this time i think i really understand and I finally got the message clear... But yet again, these few days seem so different from what had transpired over the weekend. I am not imagining things... Feelings are difficult to explained... and i fully acknowledged that... But why was it so different again?

一切顺其自然 and i am going to follow that... I am following that... No worries...

有时候孤独可以寂寞
也可以是自由
能安慰自己的人比较容易快乐...

Cancelled....amazingly

ya i am feeling super grumpy and grouchy. i hate having so much anticipation and excitement and being disappointed rite at e very last moment. felt like i slapped myself in e face by organsiing it and cancelling it.
- Miss Teoyat

Amazingly, the trip was cancelled at the very last minute, but I wasn't feeling as disappointed as teoyat, because, partially i didn't feel as much anticipated and excited as her in the very first place. No doubts, i am also looking forward to the trip, but from the way, i spoke with teoyat yesterday at Mac, i knew that i won't be that disappointed if these kind of things happen.

Had a very good sleep after the cancellation, and at the same time feeling sorry for teoyat. She was quite affected, it seems. And it makes me wonder what if Mr Who was here today also, will he be strong enough to go ahead with the trip? Mr Who and Teoyat, without a doubt, were 2 of the people i respected the most in YCSS 7th. Now, it seems, we got to wait for Mr Who. Hope he reads this post. Hasn't seen him online for ages already, and he's leaving us on september for a semester. From the way, teoyat wrote in her blog, i seriously hope she will be feeling better with time, and continue to be the secretary for YCSS 7th.

I do miss 7 alot...

My Way

Xtra09's back...
Haha, finally, the composure and the smoothness is back. Just in time for another campaign in NUS.

A salute to my Temp colleague. We had major differences at times, but right now, i m am going to compliment her for her quick thinking and efficiency. I've been outwitted by her. Haha, and i accept it. She's good, no doubt. Of course, as much as i hate to admit, we still had our major differences at the end of the day. She knows it herself too. We just couldn't communicate. Wahaha..

The morale's right and the spirit's there and Xtra09 is raring to start the new season again.

i will find my way
i want a different way
nothing will stop me now
no matter what they say困难要用我的坚强和努力勇敢面对
现在用心去追感觉就对
i'll find my way
i will find my way
i find my way

TpjC PhOTogRaPhY CluB

Tpjc is the 1st place where i am really being thrusted with the responsibility of running the day to day affairs of a club. I was a V.P. there and i've enjoyed an excellent relationship with my President and the 2 teachers in charge. It was those days where you cannot afford any big major screw ups, and yet you would get the feeling of immense satisfaction when the photos for the event turns out well.

Today was the photog outing i've attended in nearly 2 years. I missed the one during the SMP camp and the seniors are still as good as ever. They are really the gurus of photography. Tze Peng and Anthony... I can hardly understand the current digital scene! The gathering was great and it spanned 4 batches of the club. From the strongest batch to finally the one of the last few golden batch, before it slowly crept into decline. (haha...1 senior n 3 juniors turned up for the latest farewell dinner! That will never happen in my batch!)

I sometimes, will once in a while, really blame myself for not able to build on the platform created by my seniors to bring the club to greater heights. That is really one of my biggest regrets in Tpjc. But as Mr Quek once remarked " Your batch is definitely more academically oriented than the last" simply tells it all. He wasn't implying that we are bad, cos one thing i am positive is that we carried our duties well and thoroughly. It's just that, we are not as passionate as the seniors as towards photography, and for me, photography will always take a backseat whenever studies are compromised. Haha... Who knows? That probably started the decline...

Looking Back.

22 years of Tampines, in the Street of 11. Seems long, but's it's never enough.
Alas, all good things have to come to an end. After 22 long years, i will finally be moving to the Northeast. I will definitely miss the late nights in Tampines, especially with Darryl and MC. Ate Durain n beer with them tonight.

But these days are going to be turned to memories soon. Well, Darryl's in a pretty bad patch. So many things all coming at once, and it must be pretty tought to handle. Never mind dude, if our backs are indeed broken, and spirits vaniquished, we must still move on. Cos, what past, will pass.

I will be taking pictures of Tampines and the Street of 11. And i shall post them up in different parts leading to the different stages of my 22 years in Tampines. Ultimately, it's a tribute as well as, to entrench these memories in my heart.

Tampines...I shall be back...

Determined...

Sadly to say, i'e depleted at least 1/2 of my savings 2 years into my tertiary education. Nevertheless, i am very determined to balance the finances part on my own. Today must be the Nth time my dad offered to help me out with the finances. I rejected it anyway. No way am i going to take such a large sum of money from him anymore. It's not that i don't appreciate his help, but i am already 23 years old, and if i can't take care of this problem, i dare say that i am really useless. If i have to work to balance the books, i will. Of course, right now, i don't think my finance warrant the need to work during the semester. AND if i do work, no way am i going to use work as an excuse, if i don't do well in my studies. That's something my parents are worried about. That work during the semester will affect my studies.

He's has enough problems on his hands. And like him, i am also determined to take care of my own problems as well. If i have to work, i have to work. It's as simple as that.

Of a very very black monday.

Saturday& Sunday was great, very great.
Other than the Make A Wish Drawing session where i rediscover the joy of photography and see the kids enjoying themselves, i m really very contented. (Though i've never like art all my life.)

Chalet was a brilliant retreat. I've never ever enjoy myself for so long already. Cannot believe it. Ngee Ann people are the best n best of all... Play the "Sha" game, murderer and Da yu;Xiao Yu. And of course, indoor volley ball! Wat the hell...

However, monday was very black. Very black. It signals the end of my night involvement in Changkat. Never ever again. The team was excellent. Me, Jiawei, Ah Lim, Pai kia and YYL. But it will never be the same again. I am Changkat no more.