The day b4 1st of June

I am suddenly staring into fear...I was so preoccupied that i didn't even manage to think of the release of results, which is tomorrow. For the 1st time in this semester, i felt real fear. The fear of not doing well, of course. What will be my next course of action if i falter, in short, Plan B...

I don't know, everything will show itself tomorrow.

Finally, send Louis off tonight. He's the best Chinese National i've ever come across in my 23 years of life. Friendly and unassuming, and material for a worthly friend. A pity he had to go back to China already.

Changkat's Final Hurray?

Sunday 800pm,

The setting is the kopitiam below my house, and i was passing by where i saw the people of Old Changkat sitting around a table, drinking beer and having their dinner. By Old Changkat, i am referring to the 1st generation players, they now aged between 26 to 32. Shaq, The Twins, Taosheng, Kheng and Zhiwei make up this group. I went past them, and declined the invitation to join them, and carry on my search for fried rice with egg.

Sunday 10pm

I was already in bed then, was a depressing day, cos somebody was badly depressed, and i was tossing in bed thinking over things. In short, dunno when i am going to sleep really. Then came the call to join the fellowship. Handphone rang and it was Uncle Alan. It was the call to join them for drinks, and so i went. It wasn't a lot of people then. Uncle Alan, Kheng, Jinji(Kheng's fren, Ultra old Changkat?) Zhiwei, Simon, Bryan and Prince Fido makes up the contigent.

Well, Uncle Alan was suppose to be eating Hokkien Mee then. But once he starts calling the bottles, there is no stopping. By far and large, Uncle Alan was the best drinker. We jus sit and talk cock till another 2 arrived. Cannnot Believe it. Kuijian make his appearance, and with him was yet another old member of Changkat. Haha, it's Paladin Tee! Haha. The whole thing continued, and a new nick was coined, adding to the impressive nicks ard in Changkat. If anybody wan guess, carry on...haha

E.D.F.

WTF. Brilliant Team name by Uncle Alan. Haha...Nothing to say. Man's stuff huh! Social Basketball to Vietnam! Oh MY god, and we are suppose to lose every match there by 2 points cos it's social basketball! What crap! Haha...Nuttin to say man...Mr Uncle Alan, then proceed to open more bottles, and continue to sponsor the happy hour together with Ah Kheng! Best, It was estimated that 50+ bottles had been uncapped then. I couldn't finish my last cup, and left with 1/2 a cup left. If i carry on, i wont be able to work today liao man.

It was the very first night that the Changkat Khakis met outside Changkat for beer man. Otherwise, it's mostly dinner or what. Haha Prince Fido underage, so can only see us drink yesterday! Nuttin to say. Best night to remember. Was able to sleep better after that...At least the spirit i thought gone was suddenly back, not in the basketball, but in another B, Beer though... Yesterday missed Inspector Bomber and Fat Duncan. Sign off with the nicks coined in changkat so far. Haha can guess who they refer to

1. 82年精华
2. 104少
3. 十一街少
4. Changkat 之光
5. Prince Fido?
6. 不好笑
7. Fat Duncan
8. Larry "Jiao" (Bird in Hokkien)
9. 长毛, 腰兽, 腰力 all refer to the same man
10.Hook 哥
11. Inspector Bomber
12. Most Improved Player, M.I.P.
13. Uncle Horny, (We all know who he is!)
14. 老鼠 a.k.a. Mighty Mouse a.k.a 矮, 肥, 短 in hokkien
15. 43 year old Jordan.
16. A.B.C. Shooter.
17. 混乱 Defence ( That's a tactic!) and 蛮力is the man
18. O Char Kueh, Black carrot cake
19. Abdul Jabaar
20. Shaq, Now that becomes his name.
21. 同学
22. Mr. Policeman.
23. Wai Tau, Crooked Head in dialect
24. 豆奶神功
25. R.I.
26. Sniper!
27. Changkat Blues...
28. E.D.F., Latest name in town


So far that's all i can think of. Haha...Really Nuttin to say... Will add more, when i remember

Losing it....

1. I should have smile more, but i couldn't make myself do it. ( Yating can do it though)
2. Slowly losing the "clenched fist feelings"
3. Letting myself slip into endless sleepless nights
4. I shouldn't have guzzle so much beer these days
5. Basketball fails to inspire me
6. Listening to 安静 and Heaven Knows all the time
7. Depressed...
8. Indecisive, fail to straighten out my thoughts after so long

Waiting for the final piece to inspire me once more, that's maybe economics. Am i mad? If that again fails to provide an impetus n purpose, i am truly a worthless piece of shit...

安静 or Heaven Knows? Why not both at the same time?

Why I live in despair '
Cause wide awake or dreaming I know she's never there
And all this time I act so brave I'm shaking inside
Why does it hurt me so

只剩下钢琴陪我谈了一天
睡着的大提琴安静的旧旧的
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up 'til I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know

我想你已表现的非常明白
我懂我也知道你没有舍不得
And though she's so far away
It just keeps gettin' stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holding on
So tell me where do I start 'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go

不用担心的太多
我会一直好好过
你已经远远离开
我也会慢慢走开
为什么我连分开都迁就着你
我真的没有天份
安静的没这么快
我会学着放弃你
是因为我太爱你

Maybe my love will come back some day
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows

24th May

Today was my 1st day working in the Social Assistance Department in Northeast CDC. What i can i say? It's been really like the army days, where we required to do stores at the respective Team stores. Only this time round, instead of equipment, i get files n lots of files to sort out. Job's very nice, and the perm staff are quite friendly, especially my immediate supervisor and the manager. Haha... Social Assistance Department some more. What to expect? Maybe i am the most black hearted one there bah!

Went to Johore Bahru yesterday with my fellow uncles...Haha, joining the uncles' rank man. For 50 bucks, we had lots lots of seafoond for lunch and dinner, washing the food down with beer, of course! Haha.. and i had my very 1st taste of Lao Po Bing(Wife Biscuit)...It was ..........GOOD! Haha...No wonder Ah Wang make it for his Lao Po! Haha....

Leave you all pple with something...

If you like That Person

1. You Keep Thinking of That Person
2. You keep Thinking of how to make That Person happy, including silly things.
3. And of course, Thinking of how not to make That Person sad
4. You wouldn't mind just staring at That Person and not doing anything
5. You wish time would stop...

Hiatus Unfreezed...

The whole saga has come to an end, and as such, the hiatus is unfreezed...11 days after...

Anyway....

I went to Yuan Ching Today!!! I was so happy to see of them that i couldn't stop smilling and laughing for almost half an hour befor settling down! Haha..The kids thought that something was wrong with me...Couldn't quite believe that...Maybe it's due to the fact that i miss them more than they miss me! But just to step into Yuan Ching itself after SMP, itself, is almost a feeling that can't be described. However befor i could settle down, they were all rushing to Chenghao's house. And so i followed them! Down there realise Hao and YeeLing really look more and more like a couple le! Haha...Managed a heart to heart talk as well with my 3rd unofficial mentee...Gosh! He's only like 14 years old, and is being forced to grow up...Haiz..Only Older Brothers will understand the responsibility that is being placed in the household. Hope the things i told him helps today....

Secondly....我 终 于 失 去 了 我 每 天 的 寄 托 ! That is Square Pegs finally ends it's run today...Throughout it's 20 episodes, it seems that i am always waiting for 7pm to arrive everyday. This is because for that hour, i will actually be immersed in the show, making me forgetting the day's unhappiness and sad things...Nearly teared at the part Wang went back to make the Wife Biscuits! Haha, and the last part where they all met seems so 温 馨 ! Haha, even basketball don't seem so attractive after all as compared to Square Pegs... Anyway, the fairy tale's ended and it seems, i must now find a new 寄 托 ! HAha...Am i talking nonsense already? it's only 8++pm...Till then....

2 Week Hiatus

I am self imposing a 2 week hiatus on myself, that means I am not going to blog anything in the meantime…Reason is simple…Yating and JJ should understand. It has already comes to a point that blogging is no longer a way to shout out my thoughts without any worries. Hence the 2 week hiatus, to save myself from further disintegration. You all can further save me by not asking me why the 2 week hiatus...

Topics for the day:
1. Prince Fido a.k.a Lim Ban Kok
2. Collin Raye’s One Boy, One Girl

Thank You, Prince Fido…I salute you, not forsaking me, when I was down and encouraging me when I am now rock bottom on the court. You are really a kind hearted soul, can you just work harder? You deserve better things dude...

Collin Raye’s song is really good. If you all don’t mind, you can ask it from me. However, I’ve decided to tweak some of its lyrics, according to my mood. The original’s version can be found here
http://www.collinraye.com/music/lyrics/direct-hits/one-boy-one-girl.htm

Chorus:
One boy, one girl,
One heart beating wildly
To put it mildly it was love on his side
He smiled, she smiled
For Different reasons though
This was the day He hoped that doesn’t arrive.
And for a moment, the whole world just stood still
Around one boy and his lonely heart….

Steady mah? See you all 2 weeks later…till then!!!

Malaysia, Batu Pahat

I will be leaving for Batu Pahat tomorrow to visit my relatives. Sorry dude, especially Ngee Ann Boyz whom i always played ball with, this sunday, you all would have to organise yourself le. Sorry G league pple too, no soccer for me again this sunday.

Think, Darryl, need ur advice...

Me, and my 2 very good frens, and Ms Goh Yee Bin, otherwise known as "Fishcake" in Chinese at the temporarily Defunct Tampines 137 market! 

Love, Me

Love, Me
(Skip Ewing/Max T. Barnes)

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me.
He said,"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, insteadOf her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you.
Love, me.

Between now and then, till I see you again,I'll be loving you.
Love, me.