At the end of the mentoring journey...

“Like a father, it’s always sad when the children leave. If only I can keep you in a cute box and hang it on my shelf. But I can’t do that…”

2 years after my Operational Ready Date, I finally realize the full implications of this statement. The quote actually comes from our dear Company Sergeant Major SSG Munir in our commemorative pictorial book. I guess I was too young and inexperience then to feel the impact of his words. But today, as a mentor to my 2 kids, the feeling that I felt at the end the journey can indeed be summed up by the quote. (Though I have to stress that instead of a father, I actually felt like a big brother to them, nevertheless, the original meaning of the quote is not altered)

Today in Yuan Ching was a bit different from the previous sessions. Instead of seeing our mentees, we were supposed to meet the new principal today to discuss the meaning of the Student Mentoring Program. Little did we know that the principal actually has a meeting and was too busy to see us. Instead the new teacher in charge, Mr. Kum came over to speak to us. It was then I finally realized, we are finally coming to the end of the mentoring journey. What actually triggered my emotional dilemma comes from the question that Mr. Kum subsequently poses to us.

“So do you think that your 2 mentees should be placed in the mentoring program in the next cycle?”

Seriously, I was a bit stupefied. Why was he asking me that? Anyway, I gave him a very objective reply. The answer is NO. Both are actually been coping well in their academic studies, though they need reinforcement of the need to do well and be responsible sometimes. Nevertheless, I’ve felt that they had grown up in this year of mentoring. What they need now is actually more support and affirmation from their parents in order to further encourage them to give off their best.

Yet deep in my heart, the answer was a YES YES. We really had many wonderful times together and I do sometimes hope that the journey never ends. Of course this is never possible. True, I can still visit them after the whole program is finished, and continue to guide them, yet there is this unexplainable feeling that stays in my heart. Perhaps it’s the abrupt end that characterized the end of the mentoring journey. Or perhaps as Darryl has put it, it’s me who’s going to have a feeling of loss when I leave Yuan Ching. And yet I have to be objective. They had grown up, and thus will not need the program anymore. They do have to learn to make certain decisions on their own already. Yes, I am though willing to lend a listening ear to their problems, as like now.

In fact, what’s really making my day is that Chenghao do feel that the program is useful, because, as according to him I’ve had lend my listening ear to his whining and problems. This, I suspect, perhaps was a modern problem among teenagers in the homes of Singapore. I just called him a moment ago and explain to him why I felt that the boys should not be placed in the mentoring program anymore. I also explained my sense of loss at leaving behind Yuan Ching, at least temporarily. However I did assure him that I will be always there for them, and will never stop caring for them.