情非得已
只怕我自己会爱上你
不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你
爱你也需要很大的勇气
只怕我自己会爱上你
也许有天会情不自禁
想念只让自己苦了自己
爱上你是我情非得已
Had a discussion yesterday...about guys biding their time to see who are the gals interested in them, before moving in for the interested parties. I feel as much as gals dun wan to be with guys who bid their time and who likes the gal because she likes him, the lyrics do show that, it would be quite disastrous for guys to plunge headlong in terms of commitment, without knowing how the gal feels. It would be disastrous. Thinking about somebody who don't realy care a damn about you all the time, and unable to control your thoughts doesn't sound nice right. That's the consequences of trying to commit without knowing. So to guys out there, if you can control your feelings, do control. Otherwise once you reach the situation as describe in the lyrics, and the gal is not receptive. That's it...That's it...Gd luck to u...
Disclaimer: Talking is cheap...I hasn't been practising what i've always preach anyway in the matters of the stupid heart...But i do hope not to 情非得已~~~
不敢让自己靠的太近
怕我没什么能够给你
爱你也需要很大的勇气
只怕我自己会爱上你
也许有天会情不自禁
想念只让自己苦了自己
爱上你是我情非得已
Had a discussion yesterday...about guys biding their time to see who are the gals interested in them, before moving in for the interested parties. I feel as much as gals dun wan to be with guys who bid their time and who likes the gal because she likes him, the lyrics do show that, it would be quite disastrous for guys to plunge headlong in terms of commitment, without knowing how the gal feels. It would be disastrous. Thinking about somebody who don't realy care a damn about you all the time, and unable to control your thoughts doesn't sound nice right. That's the consequences of trying to commit without knowing. So to guys out there, if you can control your feelings, do control. Otherwise once you reach the situation as describe in the lyrics, and the gal is not receptive. That's it...That's it...Gd luck to u...
Disclaimer: Talking is cheap...I hasn't been practising what i've always preach anyway in the matters of the stupid heart...But i do hope not to 情非得已~~~
posted by xtra_09 @ 12:20 PM
8 Comments:
At 8:42 PM,
Anonymous said…
i believe that feelings cant be controlled.one can only stop or control one's action but this does not apply to feelings.any acts of control is jus deceiving.so y decieve? flow w ur heart pal. 不入虎穴,焉得虎子...i guess one can only exchange love for love, dun u thk so?
At 11:10 PM,
kein said…
Of course, it's always true that you never know until you try.
On the other hand, you should objectively analyse if the other person is truly someone you can live with, instead of simply going along with that bunch of infatuation/liking/whatever. No such thing as 'we can work all problems out together' in this world :) Avoiding a potential disastrous relationship's always better than jumping in with both feet and losing a good friend in that same time, don't you think so?
In theory, love might conquer all, but in reality, fundamental incompatibility exists yeah?
At 12:27 PM,
Anonymous said…
Of cos one shldnt jus follow his infatuation cos infatuation is not love.Howeva when u are sure tt u love a person, u should go with your feelings. For how many people in this world can u so bravely proclaim without doubt that u love him or her.Although i agree that avoiding a disastrous relationship is always better, as prevention is better den cure,i still feel that "we can wk all probs out together" .For love does conquer all.
At 2:57 PM,
xtra_09 said…
Who's so_near?
Looks like my fren, kein is keen in a debate with u!
At 3:00 PM,
kein said…
Love isn't infatuation, and so love definitely takes time to grow, agreed?
However, love is something that should be nurtured between two people, and not a one sided declaration like what you define.
I seriously doubt that the other half needs a public declamation of your undying affection for him/her/it since your actions say it all :) The guts to do is more important than the guts to just say it. Like what Singaporeans like to jest, NATO = No Action Talk Only.
In addition, I'm merely commenting that emotion rules the head in matters of the heart, but one should always be pragmatic and use logic to view the situation as well. Impulsive decisions are never good, no? :)
And do note that all in all, my stand is merely that love doesn't conquer all, and that imperfections exist in the best of us. Admittedly, it will take hard work from both ends to bridge those gaping chasms, but compromises aren't perfect solutions, and tolerance of the other's faults isn't 100% :) Though it *DOES* help to keep the arguments down.
At 11:05 PM,
Anonymous said…
love does indeed take time to be nurtured. But how do u actually nurture a relationship when things are not spelled out clearly.
Any actions of affection thru little things without a clear stand will simply be dismissed either as "a nice fren" or "a misleading guy".
dun u thk this makes matter worse?
i dun mean tt the other party will need a proclamation of love, but rather i'm saying that if one is so sure of his love, y is there a need to kp it so deep within him. love needs courage. so does confession of love. but shldnt the love for the person overcome all fear of failures?
if the fear of failure stop one frm declaring his love to the person. i wld say the love is not strong enough.hence dun even thk abt wanting to love her. for love is self sacrificial. if u choose to forgo her for self interest or when there is a conflict of interest as such, there is nothing much to tok abt.
because
there is no love in the 1st place.
Indeed!no one is perfect.hencelove is not abt loving the perfect person. its abt loving the person perfectly. hence it does take both to bridge the gap, and this gap can neva be bridge w/o compromise and tolerance. there is no one in this world who thks and do things exactly the same. the diversity of diff pple's perspectives can neva be converge. hence how do u actally bridge the differences w/o compromise and tolerance.I'm not saying an absolute 100% of cos, as tt makes me a saint. and man aint no saint!but compromising and tolerating is the only way to solve "unsolvable prob". take note, "unsolvable prob".
impulsive decisions are surely not advocated . but procrastination and suppresion of feelings is not encouraged either.
At 2:37 PM,
kein said…
In relationships as always, I believe that there are unspoken signals for both sides (and especially the male) to respond and move the relationship to another level :)
But. Don't blame anyone if you endup becoming a 'nice friend' to the girl, since it's your fault that you simply kept doing nice things and being overtly friendly without hints of your own :)
But guys being guys, most of us would tend to miss those subtle hints that the females give, and that's prob why things need to be 'spelled out clearly' i.e. blatant confessions of affection. I believe strongly that courtship is one of the great guessing games in life, and should be so fun.
Simply put, if she doesn't give any signs that she's into you, it's definitely much better to move on :) No sense wasting time on an unviable investment, don't you agree so?
And I think you truly misunderstand my point, grins. What I meant was that love is a two-sided affair, and as always the sound of one hand clapping exists only in theory. My stand was (and still is) that if love already exists, there is no need to confess at all :) The signs would already be there, just move it a notch further and voila! I don't think adults believe in stammering nervous confessions to the one they have a vested interest in anyway :)
That's my first point, and I reiterate once again: love is an issue between two beings, and shouldn't be treated as a confession of affection from one individual to another.
Second point, love cannot conquer all (unless we're talking about sappy love stories, soap dramas and the usual romance movies) because of all the obstacles that reality poses. Like what we hear all the time, love and bread must co-exist :) No one can live on love all the time, righto?
Therefore, it would be much more practical to judge your current circumstances and the other party's situation before embarking on a suitable and pragmatic course of action. Disaster planning and avoidance, as we might say :)
That's all I have to say for now, grins. With regards to the imperfect beings and perfect love, tolerance, compromise and solving impossible issues.. I only have one answer: we do hear about irrecouncilable differences being an acceptable reason for divorce all the time, don't we? And that goes to say something :)
Footnote: especially in Singapore with the Women's Charter around, it would be more than prudent for guys to be wary with stuff like this :) If you know what I mean, grins. Nice talking with you, and are you a female BTW? If you're not, you certainly sounding like one :)
At 7:53 AM,
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